Those 7 years that defined me..

I have been thinking of writing this one for sometime now. Leaving AdviceAmerica is not just one of those trivial things that happened in my life - I spent close to 7 years with AdviceAmerica, and I somehow believe that those were the years that defined me as of today. The technical strengths I have today were drawn from the experiences I had with that company. Some of the friends I made there were real.. The work I did there was enriching, so were many of the other experiences..So as I was saying, leaving that place is nothing close to trivial. I would say it's quite significant - hence this blog, something I am writing down.. so I don't forget..

I am not a person who actually remembers incidents that happened in the past - I tend to forget things. I just have random images of such things in my brain which are mute.. But what I have strongly within me is that feeling, a warm sensation of vague memories of many incidents that make the overall picture beautiful, a feeling so strong I like to get soaked in with some light music in the background..

I wanted to recall a few incidents now, but strangely I dont remember my first day. But what I remember is two days before that when I got the offer letter from Sharda madam - my first offer from a company..I had to struggle hard to get that. I remember how happy I was, I remember she handing me the letter, I remember my eyes filling when I saw the salary I was offered. I remember getting into a bus heading back home and calling all those special ones who mattered the most to share the news.

I remember that feeling that I had so strong initially - that I wanted to be the best. My brief stint in the quality team before moving into the development team was really good. That period of time helped me understand the product what we were working on. And then I was put into one of the best development teams then in AdviceAmerica - the Calculators Team under Vijay. What I am today is all those experiences I had in that team. More than what I gained to inflate my technical skills, it is the bond that I shared with the team I cherish the most now. I don't know if I will be part of a team like that ever..

I was there with the company when the product was in the primitive stage. I was there to be a part of some important decisions, I solved problems, I wrote hell lot of code, and more comments than that. I wrote a lot of documents. I made a lot of technical analysis, broke down problems, mentored a few.. I was part of the team which made a great software product. AdviceAmerica started getting noticed - it was acquired by Fiserv - global giant of a company. 6 years - I was there when all happened. When I look back now, I don't remember having a relationship with any organization for that long, be it School or College. Those were the years I learnt a lot, made some good friends, and above all, built a great product. Those years made me what I am today - stronger and better. It was quite a journey. .

Leaving AdviceAmerica was not easy for me, especially the last day at work. Suddenly I was aware that I had only a few hours left for the day, and the moment I surrender my Id Card in the reception, I am officially an ex-employee. I cleaned up my computer and my workstation.. cleared my drawer, finished up all the formalities. When the team got up together to take a few photographs for the last time, I was kind of numb, and robotic. I was just doing what I was told - smiling and waving hands mechanically.

After the last pair of hands were shook, after the last photograph was clicked, after the last swipe-out was made, I slowly moved out.. the glass door gently closed behind me.. I could see blurred view of my friends behind the glass. I came out of the building with a heavy heart, and slowly looked up at the big AdviceAmerica board one more time, and I paused for a moment - giving the company a goodbye one last time.

When he said Goodbye..

Today, I thought I would blog about a friend who left my company a few months ago. Ours was a comparatively small organization with, say, just above 90 odd employees. So we were like a close family- everyone knows everyone. And I have been working here since I was a fresher (that is more than 5 years now), I know most of the people here by name. Chandru was a smart young fellow who came in 3 years ago. He was intelligent, smart and handsome. He was a junior test engineer then. Worked with my team quite a few times - and on many occasions I have noted his sharp ability to find unique and interesting issues in the product we developed.

So one day when he came up to me and said he is leaving the company for better career opportunities, I was happy for him and at the same time disappointed, because of losing such a talented employee. We had a chat, and I came to know many of his personal things. He father died a long time ago, and he was the sole bread winner in the family, which otherwise consisted of a younger brother and his mother. He was doing his higher studies as part-time and building up his family at the same time. I felt happy for him, as this young man showed some good intention to fight againts all odds of life and live. His move from my company to greener pastures just justified his eagerness to succeed in life sooner than ever. I was happy for him after we had that chat...

That happened a few months ago, and everything was going normal when one day we came to know the horrid news. It was a story of a young man whose dreams came crashing down one fine morning. A story that shook me up from my day dreams - a young man who dreamed of making it big into the world of Software, a man who dreamt of resurrecting a family whose father was lost - everything came down crushed into a million pieces and no super glue could fix that - It was diagnosed that Chandru got B-Cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia - in simple words, Blood Cancer. I still cannot fathom the range of emotions he must had gone through when he came to know about it - to stand in the long end of the road, broken, and knowing that you have a long way to go. I dont know how his mother could go through this second wave of shock in her life - it is tough to imagine..

Apart from being emotionally challenging, this is also now financially challenging for Chandrashekar and his family. Cancer, as we all know is expensive to treat. As he is no longer an employee of this company, the company cannot do much. And he is new to his new company, and even they can do only to a limit - the timing couldnt get worse! But as friends of Chandru, we recognized there is no limit in what we could do to help Chandru in attempting to get him out of the jaws of this terrible disease - before it is too late. We are still doing our bit as we could.

I am just trying to use this forum to request my friends and fellow-bloggers to do their bit to help this young man, whose family is now forced to move to a smaller house as they could not afford the rent. Any amount which you feel comfortable will do a world of good to the amount we are trying to aggregate - an estimate of 15 lakhs for treatment. It might be equal to a movie ticket you spent for, a T-shirt or maybe even a drink you have with your friends on a weekend.. If you can sacrifice a moment's or a day's comfort for this young man, he might be able to live for an extra day to thank you!

Call me @ 9880084994 or email me @ abeytr@gmail.com if you feel to do your bit. Alternatively you can visit the site 'Cancer Patients Aid Association' for making a contribution.

If you feel like helping Chandru financially, please do visit http://www.helpchandru.com/ for details on donating. Also, please do share this message about Chandru to your friends personally so that somebody might be kind enough to help out.

Thanks again.

A farewell to a friend..

Yesterday, when my friend Ajith called me up in the evening, I was in office - shutting down the applications opened, closing down my computer system to leave. I was expecting his call. He had come from Kerala the previous day - to make a final visit to all friends here in Bangalore. We always had a plan of getting together on a weekend and celebrate his farewell - but that was not going to happen. Everyone including myself were selfishly too busy with personal errands. And to make things worse he came on a weekday. Anyways, he told me that he is coming down to my home and he was taking a bus. I told him to get down at Bommanahalli as I will be waiting for him there.

My wait was long in the bus-stand as the evening traffic of Bangalore was mounting up every minute - so were my thoughts of saying bye to Ajith. Ajith had been my friend for over 9 years now. I know 9 years is comparatively a short time - but our friendship is something which has went through rough and smooth times. He knows me and I know him.. I can promise you that the word 'knows' I used here is deep. It started from college days - I remember he used to have a to-do list of each and every single subject he is going to study over the night. We all thought that this is guy is someone out of the world, very meticulous, hard-working dude - unfortunately a very rare breed found in our college. Let me let out a sigh - he was none of that. He was just a normal person with a special kind of tongue :) We have been normal friends, we have been roommates, we have been enemies in the short span of 4 years in college. Fortunately when I was leaving college we were really good friends..

Our friendship took another level of intimacy after college, during the Bangalore-bachelor days. We were roommates again - we saw each others' ups and downs. We precisely knew when the other person's mood swings and the triggers. And now days passed, he is leaving Bangalore to Canada for higher studies and a possible settlement there.

He came home, and had a good time - we talked old things for a while..we regretted that we couldnt hang out over-night. Yes, that's the farewell I could give him. When he was leaving, we looked into each others eyes and we hugged..there were no words exchanged. I didnt know what to say as usual, and he too this time.

I know we will be in touch for sometime.. maybe an year or two, and then it is going to fade.. as with many intimate friendships of mine..

A Dream that will remain a dream...

I seldom see dreams.. and that too, a dream that I could remember for such a long time, a dream that I could write about now. Well, on that morning, after I woke up seeing this one, I wanted to remember it, probably forever... So, I called up a friend of mine, Ricky, and told him the whole thing. And I probably told it to one more person, and now I remember it very clearly.

So here it goes...

"I am in love with a girl.. I dont remember her face. But we are in deep love. We hug each other, we say jokes to each other, and it is totally a beautiful atmosphere. I then carry her in my arms and walk.. I whisper something in her ears, and she is giggling.. I am still walking.. 

I know the place I am walking through.. and I reach a big house.. actually I reach the backside of the house, and I know this house too.. This is not my house, but I know this house. I enter the house through some door.. She is still in my arms - we are really happy...I keep walking.. and I remember reaching the front room..and then I see another girl standing in that room. She was facing the other side of the room. 

I couldnt see her face. She was wearing a blue churidar. I saw a black travel bag next to her. She dint see me yet. I entered the room. The girl I am in love with is still in my arms. I slowly placed her on the ground... and then the other girl turned back.. It was her, an old friend of mine - we use to be really good friends.. probably more than friends... But for some reason, we dint show that friendship now. We greeted each other very formally. I introduced her to the other girl...I couldnt understand whether she was happy or sad..." 

And then.. I woke up....Somehow, I wanted to remember this dream.. It had nothing in it.. but I felt happy and sad at the same time...

One of those 'first' experiences..

It was something different..Never before had I felt the way I felt then.. Was I happy? I really don't know..But surely I was embarrassed.. But i wasn't really ashamed of anything.. It happens all the time, not to me, but to many others.. but certainly it was one of those 'first's  for me.. 

I really could see things differently.. I have seen and experienced those views before, but this one was totally a different perspective..the angles and corners had a new dimension altogether. The real fact is that, I could have really avoided this situation.. I am the one who is to be blamed for that to happen to me.. 

I knew something was not right before that..but then I really don't regret the experience I had because of that, except for one thing.. anyone would have regretted that part, even I did..By the time I managed to reach the right place, i was sweating real bad.. I wanted to get down as soon as possible.. I dint want my 'baby' to be in that dirty place any more minute..

Ya, today my bike was towed away by the traffic police from a so called no-parking place in Koramangala. The no-parking board was there some 200 meters away behind the trees, well in place..I was just 1 minute late, and they put my baby on that stupid dirty truck of theirs. I begged those idiots to give it back, as I was willing to pay the fine there itself. Who cares..? In the end, i too got on top of truck with the other bikes - destination: Audugodi Police station. What the hell, I thought, I might well enjoy the ride. Ya, i was a little embarrassed as I said before, but this was a totally different experience for me - on top of an open police truck, riding in the heart of Bangalore.. Ya, I enjoyed every bit of it, except for one thing - I had to pay a fine of Rs200 to get my baby bailed out.. :)

The repercussions of a controversial email..

Today I got a forwarded email to my gmail id from a friend of mine. This friend is a Muslim, and he sent me some interesting stuff. The mail contains some real incidents were the Muslims were being postered as cruel and dangerous people. Infact it had some news snippets from different sites mostly about murdering/terrorist events. It actually compared the way in which the news was reported in various sites when the murder was committed by a Muslim, and when a similar kind of murder was done by a non-muslim.

The examples that were there was actually shocking. When a murder was committed by a Muslim, the headlines read like "Muslim youth raped and killed a girl", but when the same crime was committed by a non-muslim, it read differently, without the religious tag in it. And the thing is that it was not just one or two examples, there were like 15-20 solid instances - I counted them.

I dont know if this was done intentionally or otherwise. Whatever be the case, it is really bad. The world is now trying to poster Muslims as the bad guys.The main reason i thought of writing this down is the repercussions that happened when I forwarded this mail to my friends (non-muslims). And moreover, the original mail was sent to a group (which included me).

One of my friend even came out and protested to me about this. He was saying that these kind of mail should not be forwarded to groups, because it was religious in nature. One of my other friend told me that whatever I send him, his attitude towards Muslim is not going to change (he dont like Muslims, by the way).

I couldnt digest the attitude of my friends. Me being in this 21st centuary generation, I thought we were all really having innovative thoughts and opinions about these matters. I am wrong and the fact is really bad. We are no different.That attitude - "If he is a Muslim, keep away from him, he might be dangerous" is slowly growing. It is slowly being injected into our minds by the media, from our friends, from our parents - it is just out there.

Let me tell you another incident which happened very recently. I know a cousin of a friend of mine (a muslim). He is passing out of a reputed engineering college in Kerala this year, and he got job offer from a very prestigious software company. This happened before the recent serial blasts took place in different cities in India. A few days back he got a rejection letter from the company with no explanation. My friend forwarded his resume to me to help him out. I have done what I can from my side - Now only God can help him get somewhere.

One thing we all should know is that, bad people are there everywhere - these people want to kill and cause harm to everyone, they dont care. They should be tagged as the bad ones, or evil ones or terrorists, but never should be prefixed with any religion.
When people associate a religion with mass terror, people start to fear them, organizations start to fear them, nations start to fear them, and eventually everyone.

From my diary - Engineering Days...

This is an extract from my diary dated 16 August 2002...

"Everyone is thinking that there is 'something' between me and her. And today Khalandhar and Aswith came to me to squeeze things out of me. And I repeated the same thing - We are good friends. And I always think, why this has happened.. Do I really like her? And did i start to love her? I.. dont know, really, I dont know.. I sometimes sit thinking about her.. I purposefully make situations to talk to her.. Is this love? I dont know .. No it is not... It's just because we're good friends.. this is just a male -female attracation.. infatuation...? that's all. I know she is gonna be upset hearing all this.. She always reminds me that I'm her loving brother (even though I hate being her brother).. and that I should take care to keep this friendship, and I should never cheat the relation... I should keep my mind clean, with no dirt of love.. but with the fragrance of love.."

That was 5 years ago... Things have changed a lot since then... It is really funny thinking about the whole thing...

I guess this will will be fair enough for the first blog.. :)